Sorrow Brings Happiness
by All.I.Hear.Is.Green.Day
Summary: Bella is an orphan, going house to house staying for one night. She ends up at the Cullen house. What happens then? Will this poor emotional soul find love? E/B All human. DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. :(**

"_As I bring this razor blade to my wrists_

_I think of how you and her shared true love's first kiss_

_As I bring this needle to my arm_

_I think of your warm embrace_

_but I know it's with her_

_her, that terrible, horrendous disgrace_

_as I bring this bottle to my lips_

_I think of yours on mine_

_a real true love's first kiss._"

I walked off the stage, and through the door of the building, where they held poetry readings, leaving the applause behind. I didn't know what made me write that poem. For me, there was no special someone. Someone that I loved, irrevocably. Unconditionally. Sometimes poems, just came to me. Like _ True Love's First Kiss_, the one I had just shared with the other poets, and poetry lovers. That had came to me while I was in the shower, of all places. I did understand why I had written it to begin with, to an extent. Because I could, some what, relate to it. "As I bring this razor blade to my wrists." I got that. I was what most people would say, emo. Short for emotional, and I was. I was a very emotional person. I dressed in all black. The color of sorrow. Sorrow that I always felt. I cut my wrists. I did it to symbolize my pain. I did for me to feel, physical pain along with the emotional pain. I wasn't always like this. I used to be a happy go lucky normal girl. A girl that wore pink skirts and dresses. A girl that wished she was a princess, in some fairy tale. Then my mother and father died in a car accident. Something so normal, something that happens every day, something like that can effect a person beyond belief. Of course, I got sent to an orphanage. And one night, I ran away. I ran, and ran until I couldn't run anymore. I would stop at some random person's house, make up some ridiculous story, begging if I could stay for just one night. Then I would be on my way, to start the process, all over again. It was a terrible way to live, but one gets used to it. I mean, when you think about it, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a place to sleep, somewhere to wash up. But I didn't have anyone to love, no one to call just to hear there voice. Nobody to dream of marrying, and having kids with, like a normal seventeen year old girl would surely do. Instead, I was some thief. I had to steal from stores, for my necessities. Clothing. Toothbrush. Occasionally, hair dye once my black hair had faded back to brown. So, technically, I was a disgrace. Just like I had written about, I had absolutely no room to talk. I was such a hypocrite. I truly hate myself. I hate myself enough to inflict pain on myself. What was wrong with me? Everything. I was useless. Sometimes, I even had suicidal thoughts. What wrong would it do the world if I was gone? What trouble would it cause? None. I had no family. No parents, no aunts or uncles, grandparents. I had no one. So why shouldn't I commit suicide? Because I was scared. Because I didn't know what to expect after it was over and done with. Surely I would go to hell, if I were to die. If there was a life after death after all. I hoped there wasn't. Even if I were to go to heaven, I would much rather, just cease to exist.

I was walking along a road, I had been for about five minutes after I had left the poetry reading. I was exhausted. I decided to stop, I stopped at a large house with expensive looking cars in the drive way. These people were rich, I had learned in the time that I have been on my own, that usually, not always but usually, the more rich you were the less generous you were. I hope these people were an exception. I approached the door and rang the doorbell, not long after a very beautiful woman in her late twenties answered the door. She had caramel colored hair, a heart-shaped face with dimples as she smiled warmly at me. She had a petite figure, she was slender yet round and soft. She had gorgeous light brown eyes, that looked at me curiously.

"Hello dear, are you here for Alice?" she asked me kindly.

I smiled at her the best I could, "No, actually, my name is Bella, and I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I have no where to stay tonight, so if you could be so kind could I _please_ stay with you for just one night? Please?"

"Oh, why of course dear! Please, do come in! Yes, yes, let's get you in some warm clothes, it's absolutely freezing out there. Oh, where are my manners? I'm Esme Cullen. Oh, let me round up the kids, so I can introduce you to the family! Do hold on dear, just have a seat on the couch and I'll be right back," she said, and she went off to go find her family.

Esme might just be the nicest person I've stayed with so far. Such, a nice woman. I wondered how many kids she has. Esme walked back in the living room with a blonde man her age.

"Carlisle, this is Bella...," she trailed off looking at me, obviously noticing that she didn't yet know my last name.

"Swan," I told her.

"Swan, yes, this is Bella Swan," Esme told the man, I'm assuming was called Carlisle.

"Hello Bella, I'm Carlisle Cullen, Esme's husband," he greeted me.

"Hi," I said in my quiet voice. "Thank you so much for letting me stay here for the night, it's really, greatly appreciated."

"Oh, it's no problem at all," Esme said. I hear foot steps coming from the stairs.

"Here are our children," Carlisle told me.

Five children filed in to the large room. They must be adopted, because they were all about my age, and Carlisle and Esme were in there late twenties.

The first person I looked at individually was a girl.

Carlisle nodded his head at her beckoning her to introduce herself to me, she held back, so Esme stepped in. She pointed to the girl and said, "This is Alice Cullen, the first of our daughters."

Alice was beautiful, just like her parents. She had, small, sharp, pixie-like features and spiky black hair, that framed her small face like a halo. She was very thin, and very short.

Esme pointed to another girl, and said, "This is Rosalie Hale, we adopted her and her twin brother, Jasper most recently."

Rosalie was definitely the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen in my life. She was tall, statuesque, and had long wavy blonde hair, she had eyes the color of violets. Jasper, her twin, also had blonde hair. He had very defined features, and when you saw him you felt calm, like you could share your innermost secrets with him.

"This is Emmett," said Esme, pointing to a handsome boy. He was very muscular, he had dark curly brown hair, that was cut quite short.

"And this is Edward," she said pointing to the last of the children. Edward was with out the shadow of a doubt, the most gorgeous person alive. He had the oddest color of hair. It was bronze, not quite red or brown. He had perfect features, a strong jaw, perfectly shaped nose, high cheekbones. And his eyes. Don't even get me started on his eyes. They were emerald green, and it felt as if they went on for miles. I was already lost in them, swimming in his green depths. I could look at him for centuries, and never get bored. Esme pulled me away from my train of thought.

"Kids, this is Bella Swan, me and Bella are going to go upstairs and then she's gonna come down so you guys can get to know each other, okay?" she said. Then Esme grabbed me my the hand, and pulled me upstairs. She led me down a hall, and stopped at a door, "Let's get you some pajamas we're just about to order pizza, so you can just be comfortable and talk to the kids and such. Honey, if you don't mind me asking, why don't you have some place to stay?"

I knew that I always made something up, but the Cullen's were definitely the nicest family I have ever stayed with, and I trusted them. So I decided to tell her the truth.

"A few years ago, my parents died in a car accident. I got sent to an orphanage and I ran away. I couldn't stand it there. I stop at someone's house, ask if I can stay. I lie to them mostly. Its really tragic when you think about it. I have to steal from stores, I always promised myself that when I'm an adult with a job, and a home. I will pay everybody back, every store I stole from, I just don't now when that can happen, it's really hard to do this, and I just c-can't believe that anyone w-would b-be nice enough t-to let m-me in there home," I said, by the end I had broken down crying.

"Oh, sweetie, oh I'm so sorry!" Esme exclaimed, as she ran over to engulf me in a hug.

"It's ok-kay," I assured her.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. She handed me the pajamas, they were blue, but I didn't complain.

"Esme, where's the bathroom?" I asked, so I could slip into the warm nightwear.

"It's just across the hall, Bella," she directed me.

"Thanks," I said, then set off for the bathroom. I opened the door, used the restroom, and changed into the pajamas. I walked out, and went downstairs, all the Cullen's were down there except Esme and Carlisle.

"Hi," I said.

They all said, "hi," back, except Edward, he said, "Hello," which made him stand out and I could here his voice better, it fit him nicely. It sounded like velvet, very smooth like he had been gurgling a bowl of melted chocolate.

"So, um, tell me about yourselves," I said.

I found out a lot, I found out that Alice was pretty much addicted to shopping, and that Rosalie frequently sent in photos to modeling agencies. And that Jasper one day hoped to be a therapist. And that Emmett went to the gym for five hours every day. And that Edward loved music. He had an absolute passion for it. He plays the guitar, and the piano. He's the sweetest person I've ever met.

And I found out that since none of them are really related except for Jasper and Rosalie, they go out. Jasper and Alice, and Rosalie and Emmett, are in stable relationships. It was really kind of sad the way Edward was alone. I don't think he does much but play music.

"I'd love to hear you play, Edward," I told him.

"Well then, how about this? After dinner, I take you up to my room and play for you," he suggested.

"Okay," I said agreeing, eagerly.

We all talked some more, and we all learned a little bit more about ourselves. Carlisle came in and told us that the food was here, a short while later.

There was cheese pizza, and pepperoni pizza. I went with cheese. We talked at the dinner table, and I felt as if this was the best night I've had in a long time. After dinner was over, I walked up to Edward, and told him, like we were in a different era, "I do believe, you owe me a song, kind sir."

"And you shall get it, ma'lady," he said playing along. He led me up to his room and held the door open for me. He grabbed his guitar and sat down on the bed, he patted the spot next to him. I took a seat beside him. And he started to play.

"_Little girl, little girl  
Why are you crying?  
Inside your restless soul  
Your heart is dying_

Little one, little one  
Your soul is purging  
Of love and razor blades  
Your blood is surging

Runaway  
From the river to the street  
And find yourself with your face in the gutter  
You're a stray for the salvation army  
_There is no place like home  
When you got no place to go_

Little girl, little girl  
Your life is calling  
The charlatans and saints  
Of your abandon

Little one, little one  
The sky is falling  
Your lifeboat of deception  
Is now sailing

In the wake all the way  
No rhyme or reason  
Your bloodshot eyes  
Will show your heart of treason

Little girl, little girl  
You dirty liar  
You're just a junkie  
Preaching to the choir

Runaway  
From the river to the street  
And find yourself with your face in the gutter  
You're a stray for the salvation army  
There is no place like home  
When you got no place to go

The traces of blood  
Always follow you home  
Like the mascara tears  
From your getaway  
(Gloria!)  
You're walking with blisters  
And running with shears  
So unholy  
Sister of grace

Runaway  
From the river to the street  
And Find yourself with your face in the gutter  
You're a stray from the salvation army  
There is no place like home,"

"You're wonderful, Edward," I complimented him, truthfully.

"Nah, I'm okay," he said.

"Psh, whatever, you're great. That was Viva La Gloria (Little Girl) by Green Day, right?" I asked him.

"Well, well, well, someone knows there music," he said.

"Well, I know Green Day, there the best," I said.

"True."

I laughed. I was surprised, I don't remember laughing a real laugh, since my parents were alive. And right now in this moment, I felt whole, like nothing could hurt me. Like there was no sorrow, no pain, emotional or physical. Either it was these blue pajamas, or I really liked this boy.

**AN, Haha, I loved that ending right there! Haha, okay reviews make me update faster! So, I would review if I were you! Haha, I'm liking this emo Bella aren't you? Yeah, well, oh! I don't own that song, but I do own that poem at the beginning. I thought of it in the shower of all places :) Haha, review please!**

_**Alyssa.**_

**P.S. I love you.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN. Hey! Sorry it's been so long!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

I was currently lying in the spare bedroom of the Cullen's house. I knew that I should be asleep, I mean I had quite a trip the next day, I would have to find another family, repeat the process, etc. etc. I think the two main reasons why I couldn't get to sleep were, one, my throat was killing me. Two, I couldn't seem to get Edward out of my head. Every time I would start to think of something else, he would just pop right back up again. It was pure torture. His hypnotic eyes. His tousled bronze hair. His perfectly straight white teeth, how they looked when his lips turned up into that perfect lopsided grin of his. Why he mad me feel so impossibly euphoric, was beyond me. Would it ever end?

I decided to go get a glass of water, and try to take my mind off certain things. The key word being _try_. I slowly sat up in bed. I pulled the dark red comforter off of my body, and slowly crept to the door. I very deliberately, opened the door with exaggerated slowness. I was glad this was a newer house, so the steps wouldn't creek as I walked down the stairwell. I made it down to the kitchen, feeling around for a cabinet. I found one and grabbed a glass. I stretched my arms out to feel around for the tap like a zombie. I found something, it felt like a cloth. What was it? I felt that it had something beneath it something warm, it had ridges on it. I moved my hands upward on it, the cloth ended and my hands met with something warm, I reached up higher. This, what I felt, the bottom of it felt a little harsh, and pointy, like stubble. I reached higher. Was...was that a...a nose?!

I yanked my hands back, and whoever I had just felt, chuckled quietly.

I knew that laugh anywhere.

"Edward?" I whispered.

He laughed again, "Yes?"

Sigh of relief. "Holy crap, you scared the living daylights out of me!" I whisper-yelled.

"Sorry," he said sincerely, then grabbed my hand and led me to the living room. When he touched my hand it was like a shock of electricity went through me. I wished I could see his face, so that I could try to decipher his features, to know if he felt it too.

He led me to the couch and set me down. He let go of my hand and held up one finger, signaling to me that he would be back shortly. My empty hand stung.

When Edward returned he held the glass I had retrieved from the cabinet, except now it was filled with water from the tap. He handed it to me and I said a quiet thank you. I took a sip of the cool water, it felt good on my hot, aching, parched throat. I wondered if I was coming down with strep or something. It was quiet and I was perfectly comfortable with that but I would have been better with conversation, but I didn't know what to say. Evidently, Edward did.

"So, what did you come down here for?" he asked.

"Um, water," I said showing him the glass.

"Oh, right, stupid question," he said embarrassed; he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. I smiled. He looked back up, and smiled timidly.

"So...," I said trailing off.

"So...," he said mimicking me.

I smiled then asked, "So, what are _you_ doing down here?"

"Oh, um, I heard you down here and came to see what you were doing," he confessed.

"Oh, I'm sorry for waking you up!"

"No, no, you didn't, I couldn't sleep," he assured me.

"Oh, okay, good. I really couldn't sleep either," I told him.

"Well, maybe you should get to bed, Bella," he suggested. I loved the way he said my name, he made it sound so much more elegant, in his velvet voice.

"Yeah, I probably should, I have a big day ahead of me."

"Big day? What are you doing?" he questioned.

"I'm leaving," I said simply, trying to hide the traces of pain off of my face.

"What? Already?" he asked.

"Well, yes, I mean, c'mon I can't stay here forever! As much as I wish I could. I'm really going to miss all of you, so, so much." I explained.

"Well, well...," he trailed off trying to think of something to say I assumed, of how to word something, "But! But you can't just go!" he suddenly burst out, "I mean I know you have a family to go to, but would it be so bad for you just to stay a couple more days?"

"Actually, I don't have anyone to go to," I said sadly, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Oh, oh, Bella, I'm so sorry, I-I didn't mean—," I cut him off.

"No, Edward it's okay. I knew what you meant, but, honestly, tomorrow I really have to go. I just can't stay here, and intrude on your fami—," this time Edward cut me off.

"But, Bella, don't you see? It wouldn't be intrusion at all. We all love you, and we would want nothing more but for you to stay...permanently."

Permanently? I thought of what that would be like, to wake up in a happy home everyday, never have to worry about goodbyes, or finding a new place...

I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"Edward, I—as much as I would _love_ that, I just can't I mean, what would your parents think if I just stayed here, and never left?"

"Bella, I will personally march up to my mother and father's room, and I will ask them right here, right now, if you can stay with us, permanently."

"Edward, I know your parents will say no, but if you must ask them, please wait until morning. Now, me and you both need to get some rest, so c'mon," I urged him.

He nodded, and followed me up the steps. When we got to the hallway, I turned to face him.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Hmm?" he said, I seemed to have pulled him away from a different train of thought.

"Edward, I would like to thank you so much for everything."

"It's no problem, Bella. I assure you it was my pleasure," he said, and in the moonlight emitting from the window at the end of the hall, I could see he had on that crooked smile.

I smiled at him. "Goodnight, Edward," I told him.

He bent down to kiss my forehead, and whispered, "Goodnight, Bella."

I turned around at the door and walked to the bed, in the spare bedroom. I placed my hand on my forehead, feeling the spot where he had kissed me.

With my hand still on my forehead, I gently drifted off to sleep.

***

When I woke in the morning I didn't know if last night had really occurred or if it was just a dream. But I knew it was real when I saw the glass of water on the nightstand.

Esme walked though my door the minute my eyelids had flitted open.

"Bella, dear, breakfast is ready," she told me.

"Okay, Esme, thank you."

"No problem, Sweetie," she said, as she left.

I went to the bathroom after I retrieved my toothbrush from my purse. I brushed my teeth combed my knotty black hair, and headed downstairs.

The smell of pancakes came in through the kitchen, I walked in and saw all the Cullen's at the dining room table.

"Bella, your plate is in the seat in between Jasper and Edward," Carlisle told me. "Oh, and good morning." He grinned.

I smiled back at him and said, "Good morning, Carlisle."

I took my seat in between Edward, and Jasper, and dug in.

They were blueberry pancakes, with blueberry syrup and whipped cream. It was really good. I said good morning to everyone once I took my my second or third bite.

I turned to Edward with a smirk on my face and asked, "How was your night?"

He smiled, and said, "Pleasant."

During our little exchange I saw Alice looking between the two of us, from her seat across from Jasper, and all of a sudden her face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning.

Dear. God.

Esme and Carlisle took there seats at the table, and Edward cleared his throat.

Dear, Lord, here comes rejection.

"Esme, Carlisle, I was talking to Bella last night—at this Alice giggled—and she told me that, today she was leaving. When I found this out, I had a cow,"—he smiled at me—,"because, I, like the rest of you, don't want her to go, so I was wondering, could Bella please, _please_, move in with us?"

Hm, well said.

"Why, of course she can! I would like nothing more! But, it is, of course, up to Bella," Esme looked pointedly at me, when she said this.

"I-I can stay? For real?" I asked, excited.

"Only if you want to," Carlisle said.

"Oh my gosh, you guys, I would _love _to! Thank you, thank you _so _much!" I cried.

"Welcome to the family, Bella!" Edward said, then hugged me.

After that I got hugs from everyone. Alice was so excited, she wouldn't quit bouncing up and down like a maniac.

"Bella!" Alice cried.

"Yes, sister?" I asked.

"Hehe, I like that! But I need to come talk to you in my room, then we are going shopping, so go get in the shower!" she ordered.

Oh this should be fun! Notice the sarcasm.

**AN. Reviews equal faster updates, I promise! ;)**

**~_Lyssa._**

**P.S. I love you.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

"Alice!" I groaned, "You've been my sister for what? 5 seconds now, and you're already torturing me?"

"Well...yeah, pretty much! Now go get in the shower!" she commanded.

"Okay, okay," I said. I then marched up the stairs and to the shower. I undressed, then turned on the water and hopped in. The hot water felt good on my back, I grabbed the shampoo, and washed my hair. I ran my fingers through my hair, and noticed that the water was black. It took me a minute to realize that it was my black hair dye coming out.

"Crap!" I groaned to myself. Well, looks like I'm a brunette again. I wondered what the others would have to say. I continued my shower humming to myself, I got out after a few minutes. I then noticed I didn't have any clothes, I wrapped myself in a towel, and went to bang on the door for Alice to come for me, but as soon as my fist was about an inch away from the door, I heard a knock.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Bella, it's Alice," she said.

"Oh, okay hold on," I made sure my towel was on tight and opened the door for her to come in.

"Hey, Alice, I was just about to call on you, I just remembered I don't exactly have any clothes, so—," she cut me off.

"Yeah, I know, I was just about to bring you some," she told me, holding up her fist. Only then did I notice that she had an entire outfit in her tiny hand, including shoes and a purse, "Now get this on," she continued, "and then come to my room. Okay?"

"Alright, thanks Alice, your a lifesaver."

I grabbed the outfit she handed me, and quickly noticed that it definitely wasn't something I would wear, unless it was a last resort. Which it was so I slipped into the, blue shirt with a heart on it that said "love", the black skinny jeans, (these I was fine with), the blue and black checkered jacket, blue converse, and I put the blue shoulder bag on my shoulder. **(Picture on profile.) **I marched into Alice's room.

"Aaah! Bella, you look gorgeous! Wait! What did you do to your hair?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah, I'm naturally a brunette, but I accidentally bought the hair dye that washes out of your hair. It doesn't look _that_ bad does it?" I asked.

"Oh, no, Bella! It looks fabulous! I actually think I like it better brown, it really brings out your eyes."

"Well, okay, if you say so...," I trailed off.

"Oh, dot tell me you won't dye it back, Bella! Please, don't!" she exclaimed.

"Well, actually I was gonna dye it back"—her look had me back-peddling in no time—"but, since you asked..."

"Thank you, thank you, Bella! I promise you won't regret it!"

"Whatever," I said. I didn't really care, I mean it was just hair.

"Now, back to the reason why I called you in here," Alice said.

"Which is?" I prompted.

"Well, there's two things, one, I'm going to do your make-up, two, I have to ask you a very important question."

"Okay, question first," I said, I was dreading the whole make up ordeal.

"You like my brother," Alice said catching me by surprise.

"On second thought I think I'd rather do make up first—"

"Bella!" Alice growled, annoyed.

"Well, yeah I mean, of course I like your brother, Alice, Emmett's the best!" I exclaimed.

"Bella, we both know, that you know, that you know that I'm not talking about Emmett!" she said, hotly.

"Ugh," I groaned.

"See? You're avoiding the question! So you _do_ like Edward!" she screeched.

"Yes, a little," I said then headed for the door, "Kay, Bye!"

"Not so fast there, Missy! I still have to make you beautiful for Edward!" she said loudly.

"Um, can you tone it down a bit? I don't exactly want him to know!"

"Yeah, well your doing a good job of that, you little flirt," she said sarcastically.

"Is it really that obvious?" I asked.

"No, I just have an eye for this sort of thing," she assured me, "Now come sit it's time to work my magic!"

I reluctantly sat down on her bed, and she sat in front of me, with her pink make up bag with the letter A stamped across the front in hand.

She took out a compact and started rubbing the flesh-colored goop all over my face. I felt sticky. She then told me, "Close your eyes," then started putting on eye shadow, then I felt her applying liquid eyeliner. "Open," she told me referring to my eyes, and she put on mascara.

She did my lips next, and applied the sticky gloss all over my mouth.

"Smile, I'm putting blush on," she told me.

"Um, Alice, I don't think I need blush..." She understood.

"Okay, just bronzer, smile," she commanded.

I did just that, I was tickled when I felt the brush on my face, and laughed.

"Tickles, I know," Alice said giggling.

She stepped back to admire her work.

I looked into the mirror she held out for me. I had to admit I did look pretty good. But that was only if I was a different person, but since I'm me, I don't look good. Because, well, because I just can't.

"Thanks, Alice," I said.

"Any time, Bella! Now c'mon let's go shopping!" she said excitedly.

I followed her out the door and down the stairs, Edward was down on the couch watching some television program.

"Hey, Edward!" Alice greeted.

"Hi, Alice."

I sat down next to Edward and said, "Hello, Edward."

"Hi, Bell...uh." I'm sure he would have said "Bella" normally instead of "Bell...uh," but he turned to face me at that precise moment, and I'm sure he was shocked by how _girly_ I looked.

Alice giggled.

"Um, hey, well, me and Alice are gonna go to the mall, so um, I guess we'll see you later," I could barely say that, I was so embarrassed, I looked, and felt ridiculous.

"Okay, bye Alice...Bella," he said, staring at me the whole time.

"Uh, bye," I said getting off the couch, and walking outside. Alice followed me and she shouted out the door on her way out, "Bye Eddie!"

I heard Edward groan before the door slammed.

Alice was snickering to herself. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to a yellow Porsche.

"Hop in!" Alice called.

I slid into the car and ogled the fine black leather interior. It was an extremely nice car.

She turned the radio up and started singing to along with the song. It was Hot 'n Cold by Katy Perry. Alice had a really good voice.

"Alice, you can really sing," I complimented her.

"Thanks, Bella, we always have a little karaoke thing on weekends at our house we pick someone's name out of a hat, and they write down a list of their favorite songs, and everyone just randomly picks one. It's totally lame I know, but it's actually kind of fun. You'll enjoy it." she told me.

"It sounds interesting," I said.

She laughed.

"So, how far away from the mall are we?" I asked her.

"Um, about eight hours away," she said as she pulled into the parking lot of the mall. Nice one, Bella.

"C'mon!" she yelled. She jumped out of her seat, slammed her door, ran across the car, yanked my door open, pulled me out, and then she pressed the little lock thing on her keys, and her car made a _ding ding_ sound to tell her it was locked.

She ran to the door of the mall, and I had to run with her because she was tugging me by the hand.

"Okay! Let's go! Eeep! I'm so excited!" she screeched.

"Alice, Alice, calm down. Now, tell me, what store do you want to go to first?" I asked.

"Um, I don't know! Uh, how about...Pac Sun!" she exclaimed.

"Okay, we'll go right now," I told her. And we were on our way, we passed a few stores on our way there, and she said she might want to go into those.

"Hello, welcome to Pac Sun! It's by one get one half off, on all long-sleeve shirts, today! Let me know if you need any help," the girl behind the counter said, when we walked into the store.

"Oh my gosh, Bella! You _have _try this on!" Alice said holding up a long-sleeve shirt it was pink and gray, and I didn't like it at all, but, I'll try it on for Alice.

"Okay," I said taking the shirt, and heading to the changing room. I took off the shirt, I was wearing and tried the new one on. It looked better on I had to admit but I still didn't like it much.

"Bella!" Alice sang, banging on the door.

I walked out.

"Oh, yeah, no, not for you," she said. I internally groaned. This was gonna be a _long_ day.

We shopped around some more got more stuff, then Alice said she was ready to go to another store.

"Aeropostale?" I suggested.

"Sure!" she said, then skipped off in the direction of the store.

"Hi! Everything's 15% off!"

"Thanks!" Alice said, to the woman at the register.

Alice got tons and tons of stuff, but the bad thing was it was for _me. _I barely even paid her any attention, I tried things on in a daze, not even realizing what I was doing.

"Hello? Bella? Anybody in there?" Alice asked snapping in my face.

"What?!" I asked, startled.

"I _said,_ 'are there any stores that you want to go to?'" she said, aggravated.

"Uh, um...oh! Hot Topic."

"Ew! Gross! Ugh, fine if you must," she said with disgust.

"Okay, let's go," I said. We walked to the store—Alice muttering complaints all the while.

"Welcome to Hot Topic, if you need help let me know," the girl at the register said.

"Okay," I said quietly.

Being in here made me feel strange, it made me feel empty. The way I had felt before I came to the Cullen's they filled the whole slightly. But being in here, I felt terrible. Surrounded by the black walls, the slow music of love and hate. The girls in here shopping, with similar problems that I had. I couldn't take it.

"Alice, I need to get out of here, do me a huge favor, get anything that's Paramore or Green Day, or any other band, you think I might like, and just get me a few t-shirts, okay?" I said madly.

"Okay, fine, but where are you going?" she asked.

"Uh, just meet me in the food court, I'm _so _sorry, Alice, I'll explain later," I said, desperate to get out of that hell-hole.

Alice said something that sounded like "okay" but I didn't hear her, I was to busy running out of there wildly.

I was breathing heavily, and by the time I had gotten to the elevator, I was hyperventilating. I had to lean up against the wall for support. Soon, I was sliding down the side of it.

_Ding_

I tried to recollect myself before someone saw me.

A family of four was waiting by the door. A mother and father, a daughter about five, and a baby in a stroller. Tears started to slide down my cheeks, as a reminder of how I didn't have parents. I ran to the food court. I found a table by myself and put my head down. I cried my heart out, for what felt like hours. Alice should be coming back now, I wiped the tears off my face, and looked up.

Alice was sitting right across from me.

A sane person would have screamed, I just started crying again.

It was a ghastly sight.

Alice was sitting right across from me with silent tears creeping down her face.

That just made me cry harder.

"Alice, I'm s-so s-sorry, you s-shouldn't s-see th-this!" I cried.

She started sobbing softly, "N-no, I'm g-glad, I-I d-don't know w-what's wrong, b-but, I'm"—she gulped—"I'm gonna do my _damnedest _to help you!" she vowed.

"_Alice_, I r-really appreciate it, but I don't th-think y-you c-can help-p," I stuttered.

Her voice was stronger, "Bella, I will go to the end of the earth, if it helps you. We are a _family, _and I will help you, _no matter what!_"

"Th-thank you," I said, my voice fervent with gratitude.

"It's no problem at all, now let's get you something to eat, then I'll take you home," Alice said, sounding a lot like Esme.

She took my hand, and asked me, "What place do you want to eat at?"

"Uh, anyplace you want to," I told her.

She took the hand that she was holding and dragged me to Chick-Fil-A.

"Bella, what do you want?" she asked, when we were in line.

"A chicken sandwich is fine," I told her.

"Alright," she said.

We got to the front of the line, and the cashier asked us what we wanted, Alice ordered two chicken sandwiches and two cokes. We went to sit at the place where we just previously had been crying.

We sat down, and Alice handed me my food, and drink.

"Now, Bella, do you want to explain?" she asked, nicely.

"Being in there," I whispered. "It, it made me feel so—so _empty_. Like my heart was missing. The exact way I felt before, I came to live with you and your family, Alice. And then I saw this family, with loving parents. And it reminded me of how I _should _ feel. But being with you guys, it's the happiest I've felt in a long time. And you know what hurts the most, Alice? That I never got to even say goodbye."

Alice said, "Bella, I'm _so, so _sorry! And anytime, that you feel like you need to talk about it, I want you to come to me, and I will help you the best I can. And if I can't I will find someone that _can_. I swear by it." she declared.

"Alice," I began, "I don't know what I would do with out you, and your family."

"Bella, you don't have to worry about that, because we will never ever leave you, you will _never _be alone."

I started to cry again. Alice looked at me worriedly.

"Tears of joy," I assured her, dabbing at my eyes.

"Oh, good," Alice said, then she started to laugh.

"What?" I asked.

"Your eyes, they're hideous! All that crying!" she snickered.

I smiled, "You had me scared there for a minute."

"Your eyes are scary!" she laughed.

We finished our food, and she grabbed my hand and we walked off to the parking lot. She unlocked the car from the thing on her key chain, and said, "It's open."

I got in and me and Alice chatted, her often laughing which triggered smiles from me. I loved it when members of my family were happy. It made me happy. What emotional stress this day has put me through!

I optimistically comforted myself with the thought that it could only get better.

**AN. Are you liking it so far? I'm having a blast writing it, I only hope your having as much fun reading it! Reviews trigger faster updates!!!**

**~_Lyssa._**

**P.S. I love you**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Blah, blah, blah...**

We were about to start the singing thing, that we supposedly did every Saturday, that Alice told me about. I was in a sort of love-hate situation right now. I was excited we were doing this. Excitement being a large emotion for me. I was looking forward to it...in a way. I wanted to go out there and sing my heart out. But...embarrassment, well let's just say we're not good friends.

Carlisle had written everyone that lived in our house's names down. He placed them in a hat, and he stirred them around with his hand. He said that he would randomly draw one, and whoever's name he drew, would have to assign a song to everyone, to sing. He had his hand reaching down a baseball cap right now.

He slowly lifted his hand out and read the name out to us, "Bella."

Yes! I get to pick everyone's song! A small smile spread across my face.

"Bella, dear, here," Esme said, handing me a sheet of paper, "Why don't you make a list of the songs you want us to sing, alright?"

"Okay," I said, taking the paper, and grabbing a pen off of the desk.

Okay, Alice, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Rosalie, Esme, and of course, myself...hmm...what would be some good song choices? I thought. I tapped my pen on my leg while I thought. Then all of my favorite songs, babbled like the gush of a river in my head.

And I had it. I knew all the perfect songs, songs that would compliment how I assumed their voices sounded. I had only heard Alice, and Edward sing before, and I knew that they were great. I didn't know how the others were.

I took the sheet of paper to Carlisle, and he took it and looked it over. He looked up and smiled at me. He opened his laptop and started typing like mad. I asked, "What are you looking up?"

"Oh, I'm just finding the website we use for all of the songs we do, it shows us the lyrics and plays the songs, except with out the singer singing them," he explained.

"Oh," I said lamely.

"Okay, got it. Alright alphabetical order. You guys know the drill, Alice your up," Carlisle commanded.

"Okay, Alice," I told her, "Your singing Satellite Heart, by Anya Marina."

"Alright," she said uncertainly, but still exuberant with joy. I assumed she had never heard the song, unfortunately.

The music suddenly started. Alice smiled, then started singing,

"_So pretty, so smart, such a waste of a young heart_

_What a pity, what a sham, what's the matter with you, man?_

_Don't you see it's wrong? Can't you get it right?_

_Outta mind and outta sight_

_Call on all your girls don't forget the boys_

_Put a lid on all that noise_

_I'm a satellite heart, lost in the dark_

_I'm spun out so far, you stop, I start_

_But I'll be true to you_

_I hear your living out of state, living in a whole new scene_

_They say, I haven't slept in weeks_

_You're the only thing I see_

_I'm a satellite heart, lost in the dark_

_I'm spun out so far, you stop, I start_

_But I'll be true to you_

_I'm a satellite heart, lost in the dark_

_I'm spun out so far, you stop, I start_

_But I'll be true to you_

_No matter what you do_

_Yeah, I'll be true to you_

_Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh_

_Oooh Oooh Oooh"_

We all started to clap, Alice was amazing.

She bowed.

No one could have sang that song better than Alice, even Anya Marina herself.

"That was great, Alice," Carlisle complimented, "Bella, your up next. My Heart by Paramore."

I started breathing heavily, I was scared out of my mind. Edward sensed my distress, and patted my shoulder, and said, "You can do it, Bella. Just have fun, okay?"

I nodded, and stood, I looked at the computer then closed my eyes, remembering I didn't need the lyrics.

The music began.

"_I am finding out, that maybe I was wrong_

_That I've fallen down, and I can't do this alone_

_Stay with me this is what I need, please?_

_Sing us a song, and we'll sing it back to you_

_We could sing our own_

_But what would it be with out you?_

_I am nothing now, and it's been so long_

_Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope_

_This time I will be listening_

_Sing us a song, and we'll sing it back to you_

_We could sing our own but what would it be without you?_

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you_

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you_

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you_

_My heart is yours_

_This heart, it beats, beats for only you_

_My heart, my heart is yours_

_My heart is yours_

_My heart is yours_

_My heart is...,"_

That wasn't hard at all. I almost laughed while I was singing it, because, Emmett knew the song and he was doing the monster voice that you always hear faintly in the background.

I was enveloped in applause. Edward was clapping the loudest, his eyes shone, and he beamed at me. I timidly smiled back at him.

"Okay, my turn, alright, I'm singing How To Save A Life by The Fray," Carlisle announced.

He set up the computer, then started to to sing.

"_Step one you say we need to talk_

_He walks you say sit down its just a talk_

_He smiles politely back at you_

_You stare politely right on through_

_Some sort of window to your right_

_And he goes left and you stay right_

_Between the lines of fear and blame_

_You begin to wonder why you came_

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_Let him know that you know best_

_'Cause after all you do know best_

_Try to slip past his defense_

_Without granting innocence_

_Lay down a list of what is wrong_

_The things you've told him all along_

_And pray to God he hears you_

_And pray to God he hears you_

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_As he begins to raise his voice_

_You lower yours and grant him one last choice_

_Drive until you lose the road_

_Or break with the ones you've followed_

_He will do one of two things_

_He will admit to everything_

_Or he'll say he's just not the same_

_And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_How to save a life_

_How to save a life_

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_How to save a life,"_

Carlisle finished the song and we all clapped. The Cullen's were an extremely talented family.

"Okay," Carlisle said, after he downed a glass of water, "Edward, your next."

"Okay, Bella, what am I singing?" he asked me.

"Um, Restless Heart Syndrome by Green Day," I said.

"Yes! A song I know! One time Alice made me sing a Kanye West song!" he exclaimed.

I smiled. The music started, and in his fabulous voice, Edward began to sing.

"_I've got a really bad disease_

_It's got me begging on my hands and knees_

_So take me to emergency_

_'Cause something seems to be missing_

_Somebody take the pain away_

_It's like an ulcer bleeding in my brain_

_So send me to the pharmacy_

_So I can lose my memory_

_I'm elated_

_Medicated_

_Lord knows I've tried to find a way_

_To run away_

_I think they've found another cure_

_For broken hearts and feeling insecure_

_You'd be surprised what I endure_

_What makes you feel so self-assured?_

_I need to find a place to hide_

_You never no what could be waiting outside_

_The accidents that you could find_

_It's like some kind of suicide_

_So what ails you is what impales you_

_I feel like I've been crucified to be satisfied_

_I'm a victim of my symptom_

_I am my own worst enemy_

_You're a victim of your symptom_

_You are your own worst enemy_

_Know your enemy_

_I'm elated_

_Medicated_

_I am my own worst enemy_

_What ails you is what impales you_

_You are your own worst enemy_

_You're a victim of the system_

_You are you're own worst enemy_

_You're a victim of the system_

_You are your own worst enemy,"_

he finished. I stood up from my seat and started clapping wildly. Edward grinned when he saw me, I blushed. I sat back down and coughed.

"My turn!" Emmett yelled excitedly.

"Yeah, it is. Okay, Emmett your singing Last Resort by Papa Roach," Carlisle announced.

Edward started laughing. I shot him a look feigning hurt, that sobered him up. I grinned to let him know I was kidding.

"Oh my God! I'm singing _Papa Roach_?! Yes!" Emmett screamed.

And with that, Emmett started to sing.

"_Cut my life into pieces_

_This is my last resort_

_Suffocation_

_No breathing_

_Don't give a f*ck if I cut my arm bleeding_

_This is my last resort_

_Cut my life into pieces,_

_I've reached my last resort,_

_Suffocation_

_No breathing_

_Don't give a f*ck if I cut my arm bleeding_

_Do you even care if I die bleeding?_

_Would it be wrong?_

_Would it be right?_

_If I took my life tonight?_

_Chances are that I might_

_Mutilation out of sight_

_And I'm contemplating suicide_

_'Cause I'm losing my sight,_

_Losing my mind_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

_Losing my sight, _

_Losing my mind_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine _

_I never realized I was spread too thin_

_Till it was too late_

_And I was empty within_

_Hungry,_

_Feeding on chaos and living in sin_

_Downward spiral, where do I begin?_

_It all started when I lost my mother_

_No love for myself and no love for another_

_Searching, to find a love up on a higher level_

_Finding nothing but questions and devils_

_'Cause I'm losing my sight,_

_Losing my mind,_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

_Losing my sight _

_Losing my mind_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

_Nothing's alright_

_Nothing is fine_

_I'm running and I'm crying_

_I'm crying _

_I'm crying_

_I'm crying_

_I'm crying_

_I can't go on living this way_

_Cut my life into pieces _

_This is my last resort_

_Suffocation_

_No breathing_

_Don't give a f*ck if I cut my arm bleeding_

_Would it be wrong?_

_Would it be right?_

_If I took my life tonight?_

_Chances are that I might_

_Mutilation out of sight_

_And I'm contemplating suicide_

_'Cause I'm losing my sight_

_Losing my mind,_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

_Losing my sight_

_Losing my mind,_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

_I'm running and I'm crying_

_I can't go on living this way_

_Can't go on_

_Living this way_

_Nothing's alright,"_

Emmett finished, and the whole time throughout the song he was smiling his huge, dimply grin.

"Well, that was...quite a song, Bella," Esme said.

I laughed.

"Well, dear, it's your turn," Carlisle said to Esme.

"Don't worry, yours is much milder," I told her. "It's A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton, do you know it?"

"Actually, yes," she said, surprised.

"Go Esme!" Alice cat-called.

Esme went up and stood, and started to sing once the music began.

"_Making my way downtown_

_Walking fast_

_Faces passed_

_And I'm home-bound_

_Staring blankly ahead just making my way_

_Making my way through the crowd_

_And I need you_

_And I miss you_

_And now I wonder..._

_If I could fall_

_Into the sky_

_Do you think time_

_Would pass me by?_

_'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you_

_Tonight_

_It's always times like these when I think of you_

_And I wonder if you ever think of me_

_'Cause everything's so wrong _

_And I don't belong_

_Living in your precious memories_

_'Cause I need you_

_And I miss you, _

_And now I wonder..._

_If I could fall_

_Into the sky_

_Do you think time_

_Would pass me by?_

_'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you_

_Tonight_

_And I, I_

_Don't want to let you know_

_I, I_

_Drown in your memory_

_I, I_

_Don't want to let this go_

_I, I don't..._

_Making my way downtown_

_Walking fast_

_Faces passed_

_And I'm home-bound_

_Staring blankly ahead just making my way_

_Making my way through the crowd_

_And I still need you,_

_And I still miss you_

_And now I wonder..._

_If I could fall_

_Into the sky_

_Do you think time_

_Would pass me by?_

_'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you..._

_If I could fall_

_Into the sky_

_Do you think time_

_Would pass me by?_

_'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you_

_Tonight,"_

Esme sang, beautifully. Just like everyone one else in their family. Well, _our_ family. That is if you excluded me.

"Jasper," Carlisle said, "I think you'll like yours."

"What? Why? Who is it? No, no, it isn't is it? Is it?" Jasper asked, extremely excited.

Who? What? Why? I'm confused.

"It is," Carlisle confirmed.

"Can someone explain please?" I asked.

"Oh my God! Thank you _so_ much, Bella! You picked a Linkin Park song for me!"

"What? Are you like a Linkin Park fanatic, or something?" I wondered.

"Yes! What song is it?"

"Hit The Floor," Carlisle said.

"_Yes!_ I know every word!" Jasper exclaimed.

And he spontaneously burst into song.

"_There are just too many_

_Times that people_

_Have tried to look inside of me_

_Wondering what I think of you_

_And I protect you out of courtesy_

_Too many times that I've _

_Held one when I needed to push away_

_Afraid to say what was on my mind_

_Afraid to say what I need to say_

_Too many_

_Things that you've said about me when I'm not around_

_You think having the upper hand_

_Means you've gotta keep putting me down_

_But I've had too many stand-offs with you_

_And it's about as much as I can stand_

_Just wait until the upper hand is mine_

_One minute you're on top_

_The next you're not_

_Watch it drop_

_Making your heart stop_

_Just before you hit the floor_

_One minute your on top_

_The next you're not_

_Missed your shot_

_Making your heart stop_

_You think you've won_

_And then it's all gone_

_So many people like me_

_Put so much trust in all your lies_

_So concerned with what you think_

_To just say what they feel inside_

_So many people like me_

_Walk on eggshells all day long_

_All I know is that all I want _

_Is to feel like I'm not stepped on_

_There are so many things you say_

_That make me feel you've crossed the line_

_What goes up will surely fall_

_And I'm counting down the time_

_'Cause I've had so many stand-offs with you_

_And it's about as much as much as I can stand_

_So I'm waiting until the upper hand is mine_

_One minute you're on top_

_The next you're not_

_Watch it drop_

_Making your heart stop_

_Just before you hit the floor_

_One minute your on top_

_The next you're not_

_Missed your shot_

_Making your heart stop_

_You think you've won_

_And then it's all gone_

_And then it's all gone_

_And then it's all gone_

_And then it's all gone_

_Now it's all gone_

_I know I'll never trust a single thing you say_

_You knew your lies would divide us but you lied anyway_

_And all the lies have got you floating up above us all_

_But what goes up has got to fall_

_One minute you're on top_

_The next you're not_

_Watch it drop_

_Making your heart stop_

_Just before you hit the floor_

_One minute your on top_

_The next you're not_

_Missed your shot_

_Making your heart stop_

_You think you've won_

_And then it's all gone_

_And then it's all gone_

_And then it's all gone_

_And then it's all gone_

_Now it's all gone,"_

"Yes! That was freaking awesome!" Jasper yelled, right after he finished.

"Jazzy! You were great!" Alice squealed and pecked him on the cheek.

"Thanks!" he said, still riding his "Linkin Park high."

"Rosalie, your the last one," Carlisle said.

"What am I singing?" Rosalie asked curiously.

"All Around Me by Flyleaf," Carlisle told her.

"Okaaay...never heard of it," Rosalie said.

Carlisle showed her the lyrics, then she started to sing.

"_My hands are searching for you  
My arms are outstretched towards you  
I feel you on my fingertips  
My tongue dances behind my lips for you_

_This fire rising through my being  
Burning I'm not used to seeing you_

_I'm alive, I'm alive_

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

_My hands float up above me  
And you whisper you love me  
And I begin to fade  
Into our secret place_

_The music makes me sway  
The angels singing say we are alone with you  
I am alone and they are too with you_

_I'm alive, I'm alive_

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

_And so I cry  
The light is white  
And I see you  
_

_I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive_

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing  
_

_Take my hand  
I give it to you  
Now you own me  
All I am  
You said you would never leave me  
I believe you  
I believe  
_

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healed,"_

Rosalie finished the song, and said, "Oooh! I like that song!"

Everyone laughed, and I smiled.

And then to my great horror, all of the couples embraced, kissed, and said there, "I love you's"

I made a mad dash for the bathroom.

**AN You guys owe me SOOOOOOOO bad!!! I typed ALL of that, I didn't do the "Copy and Paste" crap!  
This was ALL real! And my fingers are aching. This was twelve freaking pages! I think I have Carpal Tunnel!!**

**And in case you didn't realize, the ending to this chapter is extremely tragic. It's not Bella having**

**to pee real bad. She's going in there for a reason. So umm...reviews=faster updates!! So, REVIEW!**

**Please?**

**~Lyssa.**

**P.S. I love you.!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry you guys I haven't updated in so long, I've been focusing on writing my novel, and I've finally finished the first chapter, so...**

**Previously:**

_And then to my great horror, all of the couples embraced, kissed, and said there, "I love you's"_

_I made a mad dash for the bathroom._

I ran to the bathroom, not caring who noticed. Hearing those beautiful song, was hard enough, but having to watch three perfectly matched lovers, that was just too much.

I yanked open the door, of the bathroom and locked it.

I searched the whole bathroom looking far and wide for a razor blade, I came up short. I grabbed a razor that you shave with and tried to pry the blades out. I sliced open my fingers in the process but it was all for the pain I wanted to experience. I finally got one out I took it to my wrist and dragged it across. I through my head back and smiled through the pain.

The sweet, sweet pain.

I felt tears start welling up in my closed eyes, but I kept the grin plastered on my face. My pain was my pleasure, I deserved it. It felt good, to do the world justice, to bring a terrible person pain. Even if it was myself. The pain, the hurt, the way it made me feel...it was indescribable. I heard banging on the wall beside the door of the bathroom.

"J-just a minute," I said, to whoever it was, I rummaged around trying to find a towel to stop the blood flowing from my wrists.

Then the door, eerily opened.

And then the horrible truth dawned on me, I had never shut the door all the way, I had just locked it.

I slowly turned my head, to see the poor soul that had to witness this.  
There was Edward Cullen standing right there.

"Bella!" he yelled, with a look of horror on his face, he ran over to me and grabbed my arms careful not to touch my wrists.

He grabbed a towel and bounded my hands together.

He swung his arm around my waist and led me to his room, we sat down on his bed.

"Bella, oh my God, Bella, why?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered, the strangest note of hysteria in my voice.

"Bella, tell me you will never do that again!" he commanded.

"I can't promise that."

"Bella, wha—why? Why do you do this?"

"Edward, I told you I don't know!" I snapped.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I'm just...concerned."

"I know, you shouldn't be."

"Yes, I should! Bella, I—I don't even know, what I'm trying to say."

"Edward," I gasped.

"Bella, Bella what is it?!"

"Edward!" I gasped again, it seemed to be the only thing I could say.

And then I blacked out.

***

"When do you think she'll wake up?" I heard Edward ask.

"I don't know I can't tell," Carlisle's voice informed him.

"Do you know what caused it?" Emmett asked, being serious for once.

"Loss of blood I presume," Carlisle responded.

Well, that made sense, me being on my period, and then that mixed with cutting myself, was bound to take some toll on me.

"I wish she would wake up," Edward's voice was pained, and full of sorrow.

Then I would do it. I would do it for Edward, I would do anything for him. I struggled against my heavy lids, trying to open my eyes. They fluttered and I started to see the world again.

Edward was standing beside me on my right, staring down at my now-conscious face. The rest of the Cullen's—and Hale's in Rosalie and Jasper's case—were on my right.

I was lying on Edward's bed and my head felt heavy, like it was weighing me down.

"Bella?" Edward was the first to speak. I lifted my head up so that I was in a sitting position, and I looked up at him. He got on his knees so that we were on the same level, and he looked me in the eyes, and asked, "Bella? How are you feeling?"  
"Fantastic," I mumbled sarcastically.

Emmett chuckled. Edward smiled.

"Do you need help getting up?" Edward asked.

I shook my head, my feet somehow found there way to the ground and I stood up, Edward stood also. I tried to take a step, I stumbled and tripped.

I waited for the impact but it never came. Instead I was enclosed in two warm arms, I looked up to see Edward smiling at me.

"Be careful," he murmured, setting me on my feet.

I turned to face the others, but they were exiting out of Edward's bedroom door, to give us privacy perhaps?

Traitors.

"Bella, why did you do that?" he asked.

"Did they find out?"

"What? No, they didn't. I covered for you, I wrapped your wrists, and told Carlisle that you had just passed out. They don't know."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now can you tell me why?" he wondered.

"It's just—you won't understand, Edward, why bother?"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me so that I was sitting with him on the bed.

"Bella, I will try my hardest to understand," he vowed.

"Okay, well, when I saw all of them—Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme. I saw their love, like it was being projected out of them, and it reminded me of what I didn't have. I don't have someone that loves me like that, and that hurts, Edward."

"Bella, you don't know how wrong you are."

"How?"

"You say, that no one loves you like that."

"Yes, because it's true."

"No, it isn't. I know someone that does."

"Who?" I asked all to eagerly.

"Bella...I can't tell you that."

**IM SORRY!!! DONT FLAME ME!!! MY FINGERS ACHE BECAUSE IVE BEEN WRITING SO MUCH!!! KEEP IN MIND, PEOPLE IM IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING A BOOK!!!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!!!**

**THANKS!!!**

**~LYSSA.!**

**P.S. I LOVE YOU!!! 333333**


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh," I said, disappointed.  
"I'm sorry," he said.

"Yeah, okay, thanks," I said, heading for the door.

"Bella, wait!" he said, but I acted as if I didn't hear him. I headed downstairs, sadly.

"Hey, Bells," Emmett greeted.

"Hello, Emmett," I said.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Em I'm fine."

Alice attacked me.

"Bella! Oh my God, are you okay?! I was so scared! Did you talk to Edward, are you like a thing now?! Bella tell me everything!" Alice demanded.

"No, Alice, nothing happened. Leave me alone!" I said rudely, and ran to my room. And then I cried my eyes out.

**You guys, I'm sorry it's so short but there are three reasons.**

**I didn't get practically any reviews, and reviews _power_ me.**

**My battery is dead.**

**I'm feeling too cheery to right about an emo right now. Sorry.**

**~Lyssa.! **

**P.S. I love you.**

**P.S.S. If you review—even if you flame me—I will update A.S.A.P. And it will be long, I swear. Sorry, my sexy peoples.**


	7. Discontinued

**Hello,**

**As you most likely have noticed that I haven't updated in a while...I've been racking my brain for ideas and I keep coming up short.  
In all honesty, I just do not _feel_ this story anymore, it doesn't bring me joy to write it, like it did.  
I never got a lot of reviews, and that didn't help my confidence.  
After just a few short chapters Bella and Edward just...aren't _clicking_.  
I'm not proud of this story anymore, and I don't think I ever will be.  
So, to clear up any confusion about why I haven't been updating, this story is now discontinued.  
I suggest if you tell anyone about this story, not to tell them to read it.  
I'm sorry if I have disappointed any of you.  
Feel free to flame me if you want too.  
Again I am sorry.  
I hope to be continuing all of my other stories. I know Stalker is one that I will definitely be continuing, and finishing.  
I'm so so so sorry, I want to die right now I'm so sorry.  
Please forgive me, and please don't look down upon me as an author.  
My book is on the third chapter, to let you people know that.**

**I am ashamed to say that Sorrow Brings Happiness is no more.**

**Your loving author,**

**Alyssa.**


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